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<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> Bickering Couples, New Hampshire, Overheard, Retail, USA | Romantic | August 8, 2025
I am buying some scented candles. Another couple is nearby doing the same. The woman opens a candle jar and sniffs.
Woman: “Ugh! This says Ocean Breeze, but it doesn’t smell like our beach at all.”
Man: “Honey, this says notes of sea salt, jasmine, and driftwood. Our beach smells like warm Bud Light, seagull poop, and someone grilling six feet too close.”
The woman scoffed, placed the candle down angrily, and stormed away. The guy sighed and slowly walked after her.
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<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> Bookstore, Creative Solutions, Jerk, USA, YMMV | Right | August 8, 2025 It’s a quiet Sunday afternoon at the bookstore, and a sweet older lady comes in with two little kids – I’m guessing her grandkids, about four or five years old. They come in every few weeks after church, so I recognize them.
The kids are excitedly looking at some Spider-Man stuff by the register while I ring up her books. They’re not loud, just that happy energy that comes with being small and discovering superheroes.
We finish up, I bag her things, and she calls:
Older Lady: “Come along, kiddos!”
I smile, they all wave, and they head toward the door. The next customer steps up, watches them go, and smirks.
Customer: “Now there’s a fine argument for birth control.”
He gives me that “you know what I mean” nod, expecting me to laugh along. Instead, I just… stop. I put on my best shocked face and let the silence sit. After a moment:
Me: “Those are my mother-in-law and my niece, and my nephew. I don’t appreciate you talking about my family that way.”
His face turns bright red.
Customer: “…Oh. Uh. I’m sorry.”
Me: “If you mean it, you can apologize to them. They’re still right there.”
I gesture toward the exit where the lady and kids are still within earshot.
He freezes for a split second, then spins on his heel and storms out of the store without his book.
The best part? The lady turned just in time to see me waving like I was trying to get their attention, and he just up and left without even buying his book. The book was ‘How to Lose Friends & Alienate People’.
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<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Home, Pranks, Siblings, USA | Related | August 8, 2025 My little sister and I are lying on the floor, flipping through a bunch of picture books. One is about the human body.
Little Sister: “What’s a pancreas?”
I didn’t know. I could’ve said “I don’t know.” I could’ve said, “Let’s look it up.” Instead, I took a deep breath and made the only reasonable choice for a twelve-year-old older sibling.
Me: “It’s the organ that causes puberty. Duh. You didn’t know that?”
Her eyes went huge.
Little Sister: “Wait, really?! It’s just for puberty?”
Me: “Yeah, it causes all of the puberty.”
Little Sister: “And then what?”
I paused. I should have stopped. I should have folded. But I doubled down.
Me: “…Well, this is kind of embarrassing… but when you hit adulthood, your body poops it out. You don’t need it anymore.”
Little Sister:*Gasps, far too trusting.* “You… poop it out?!”
I nodded solemnly, talking about living through the trauma myself.
Fast forward a few years.
I get home from school, and my mom is glaring at me.
Mom: “You need to apologize to your sister!”
Me: “What did I do?”
Mom: “Because of you, your sister asked, in front of her whole sex-ed class, ‘when do we poop out the pancreas?’”
I had totally forgotten about that, but it comes flooding back.
Me: “Oh.”
Mom: “Yes! ‘Oh!’ I had to just have a very interesting conversation with her teacher, and I’ve spent all afternoon consoling her!”
I got a death glare from my sister that evening, and I learned two things:
The pancreas regulates blood sugar, and my little sister would never, ever trust me again.
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<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> Gas Station, Jerk, Strangers, USA, Weather | Friendly | August 8, 2025 It’s a freezing 21°F New England morning. I’m heading to work when I spot a car with its hazards on, stuck at the entrance to a gas station.
I’m not a car guy, but I have changed more than enough flat tires in my day that I can do it with ease. Noticing that their tire was flat, I grabbed my jack and got down and was talking to them (two women) through the wind, cutting to the bone.
Me: “Need a hand?”
Driver: “We have a flat and our check engine light is on, too. It’s running real funny.”
Me: “Sorry to hear. I can definitely help with the flat, but I don’t know the first thing about engines. Maybe someone inside can take a look at that part.”
I start working on the flat, hands freezing. The driver woman then looks over at my car. It’s a yellow Dodge Charger that’s nineteen years old, not a high-end sports car or anything fancy by any means. It’s just yellow, so it stands out.
Driver: “You drive a car like that and expect me to believe you know nothing about engines? Yeah, okay.”
I pause. Then, very slowly, I start lowering the jack and set their car back on the ground. Tools back in the trunk.
Me: “Best of luck.”
I get back into my nice warm car and drive to work, now late for my shift. They can change their own tire next time if they want to cop an attitude with the one person trying to help.
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<!— Post Tags + Location 5/18/17 —> Bad Behavior, Bank, Car Dealership, Law Firm, USA | Right | August 8, 2025 I used to work in car sales. One day, a customer comes in wanting a fully loaded vehicle. There’s just one problem: his credit history is a nightmare, with multiple repossessions on his record.
After running his application, we do manage to get him an offer… but for a much lower-end car than what he wanted. That’s when he notices something.
Customer: “Hold up. On my phone, my credit score says 521. Why are you saying 491?”
Me: “Sir, credit bureaus use different scoring models for different purposes. The one you see on your app isn’t necessarily the same one banks see. Also… 521 versus 491 isn’t going to make much of a difference.”
Customer: “You need to call every bank back right now and tell them my score isn’t 491, it’s 521!”
Me: “Sir, even at 521, you’d still be declined. You don’t make enough, you already have a lot of debt, and you have multiple repos on your record.”
He doesn’t like that answer and starts threatening to sue us. My manager steps in.
Manager: “Sir, he’s correct. There are different credit scores for different uses. None of that changes the fact that you’re not approved for this loan.”
Customer: “I’ll sue you! You’ll hear from my lawyer!”
Without missing a beat, my manager reaches into his pocket, pulls out a business card, and hands it to him.
Manager: “Here’s the law firm that represents us. Ask for Lisa, she’s their secretary and very nice. She’ll get a lawyer assigned to your lawsuit. Just so you know, once that happens, we can’t help you anymore. At that point, it’s between the lawyers and the judge.”
The customer takes the card and storms out.
We never heard from him, or his lawyer, again.
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